I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I smell like Dick and happiness
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
