You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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