Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
