Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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