So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
