I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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