he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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