this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize