Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize