Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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