A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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