Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
