So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
