Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
