Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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