I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize