im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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