So drunk its hurt
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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