Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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