Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
