I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
