I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize