Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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