She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
