you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
