don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You smell like stripper and shame
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
