I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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