i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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