He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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