Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
