I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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