I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
