my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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