I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
