she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
