he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
