My room smells like vodka and shame
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
