I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
