I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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