redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
