Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
