im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he thought i was a dude.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
