her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
