so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
