Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
