Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I believe in your delicious
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
