Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
