I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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