so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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