just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
