also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
