just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
