i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
