Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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