Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
