I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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