and you said cock pushups were impossible
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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