Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
