if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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