i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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