We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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