She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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