I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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