dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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