I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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